Something’s crawling up my skin
from my toes to my scalp
A noise
Making the hair rise on my arms
The blood rush loud in my ears
My heart hammer out of its cage
Creeping, choking, confining me
With horror, disgust, fear

I remind my breath not to stop
And hold my hands
To calm their shaking
I find my knees a chair
To discourage them from buckling

And slowly I release the anxiety
From owning me
By remembering you’re not really here
By reminding myself I don’t have to allow you
to reach me

I deeply inhale the air
I now own on my own

I turn my phone back on
And in a stroke of love for myself

I firmly delete your message.

~ cj 2011.04.27

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