I Am Ok

I am ok.
I don’t care.
I don’t need you.
You don’t matter.

Until I wake.
Or I sleep.

Or I remember
or I think.

Until I see
in my mind’s eye
your eyes looking
into mine.

Until I go
where we’ve been
in my heart
or in my world.

Until I touch
anything
that’s been touched
by you…

…including me.

~ cj 2011.01.21

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10 Responses to I Am Ok

  1. Gail Hite Cua says:

    You’re taking me back to places I’ve been…..years ago.. I’m sorry. It will ease and morph into a different feeling in due time….. Keep yourself as busy as you do..it’s so healthy….. You are fixing the broken pieces even if it doesn’t feel like it now. You are such a gifted person in so many ways….

    • cjromb says:

      Right now I’m at the place where all the pieces are on the floor, shattered. I’m trying to cope with the loss and trying to figure out what to make of them. But I know, I get, that I will pick the pieces up, and I will find glue, and I will put them back together again.

      I’ve been through so much this year, though…I’d really just like to lay down among the shards and sleep for awhile, ya know?

  2. Karen Schertz says:

    Awww, CJ. Such a beautiful and touching poem. My heart goes out to you. Hope you soon find the peace you deserve.

    • cjromb says:

      Me, too. Thank you, Karen, for ALWAYS showing up and for ALWAYS reading. I can’t wait to meet you.

  3. Anna Cummins says:

    I love you for being so open to share your heart, your soul in such a transparent way.
    Your words are powerful and fragile at the same time. I know your words oh to well. Be strong my sweet friend.

  4. Rick says:

    Sharks keep swimming. You will also. I love your “facing adversity” head on.
    Pushing aside niggling little annoying obstacles.

  5. jeffrey harris says:

    Shattered pieces of glass or feelings can be picked up but never forgotten. Over time you get past the immediacy of these issues.
    CJ, I Love the fact that you share these feelings with us!

    • cjromb says:

      There’s this tradition I’ve heard about with using bowls in ceremonies that in certain cultures, they can’t be used in the ceremony until they’ve been broken or damaged in some way. A brilliant thing to think about in conjunction with heartbreak. I should write about that, huh. 🙂

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