I am taking out my trash, while I am noticing these things, so I text you all of this with pictures. It may be cheesy, it may be unconventional, but this is what I want to think about today.
Here’s my road. It seemed so easy going down, but now I must return uphill.
There’s a lot to enjoy along the way.
But there’s a pile of shit in the middle of the road, too. I realize if I’m very small, and I move slowly…if I don’t have my path figured out, it could be quite hard to miss getting caught in. But if I rise above it, become bigger and faster than that pile of shit, it becomes so small in my life that I scarcely notice.
The pile has been there for awhile, too. I’ve deftly avoided removing it or running it over, because my doggies enjoy it. The message of that isn’t lost on me either.
I giggle at how “fucking Buddhist” this is of me. I know you will laugh, too.
Right in the middle of the weeds, there is a flower, thriving there, all on its own, reminding me I can do this with or without another in my garden.
As I go up the hill, I’m figuring out how to do things on my own that I didn’t know how to do before.
I’m learning to accept the things that have died….
…and the plans that didn’t pan out.
I appreciate instead, the things that DID work out…
…rather than villifying the things that didn’t. Not everything lasts.
Not everything lands where I want it to either.
Sometimes I flourish…
…sometimes I cling to whatever I can…
…and sometimes I’m completely lost in the weeds.
I’ve certainly had to dig around in places I didn’t except to ever be!
And I’ve learned to find comfort in places that others would think full of too much dirt and far too itchy.
Sometimes I’ve been so exhausted I have a seat…
And sometimes, when I just can’t be upright, I’ve had to lie down in the most unlikely of places.
I know now looming clouds don’t always carry rain, so there’s no sense in worrying too much. Instead, I enjoy the shade they can provide from the hot, hot sun.
And when they do cover my world, I remember there’s often blue with a softer view right behind them.
I will remember to do what’s right for me, whether that’s plopping down on a cool piece of tile…
or seeking refreshment from somewhere other than myself.
So what I’ve learned from taking out the trash today is that while I’m walking my path, I must be big enough and fast enough to rise above the shit that gets in my way. I can do this, I can make it. And I don’t need to worry too much about the things that don’t work out.
The storms that do come will blow over, and I’ll find the spot that’s right for me when I need protection. Most of all, I was reminded of the meta message that it’s important to appreciate the beauty and brilliant reminders about how to live life well that are available everywhere if you’re willing to look, even when what you’re doing is taking out the trash.
~ cj 2012.10.22