Welcome, 2013….I’ve been waiting for you!
Every year for many years, I wrote a little foundation statement, or had a motto. I didn’t do that so much the past two years. In many ways, I was just fighting to survive and find my way at all.
I realized this past week how far down I’d gotten, when one of my friends made a comment on a post I made on Facebook. She reminded me not to let my daily to-do list get in the way of my dreams. That’s when I realized things had gotten so bad for awhile that even MAKING a daily to do list, let alone DOING it had become a dream.
In the past few weeks, something significant shifted in me. I’m not sure what the catalyst was. I suppose I could make a few guesses at what started me forward, but the more important thing to do is celebrate that I’m now FINALLY moving forward in a real, tangible way.
I’ve tackled some really significant things, I’ve made myself face extremely painful information and situations I didn’t want to face. I restructured some things that were causing me pain, and I made some decisions about what’s going to be next for me.
And I started a list of the lists I need to make. What happened was interesting – I didn’t finish the lists. Instead, I actually started tackling three of the areas in a tangible way. The progress I’ve made has energized me, hopefully enough to create the kind of momentum that will keep me going until the tasks are complete.
I don’t have all the answers for where I’m headed yet. But I have a lot of clarity, I have a great sense of the general path I’m interested in following with my life and my career, and I’m finally, after the past two years, just about giddy for what’s ahead. It’s the happiest I’ve been in many, many years.
This morning, for the first time since 2010, I wrote a foundation statement. My goal today is to go to Zilker, and while I’m walking/running, start to create an outline with my general goals for 2013.
I know a lot of people make and break resolutions, or refuse to even make them. I also know that making changes is an iterative, messy process that takes a good amount of adjustment, regrouping, self-awareness, and self-forgiveness. But I believe, more than I believe in anything else about myself, that I can make significant changes, even if it takes me years to get there, as long as I remain committed and keep trying.
Here’s what I’ve written for 2013 so far:
2011 and 2012 were a necessary part of moving towards the life I want to lead, but to a large extent, I didn’t spend them the way I want to spend my time moving forward. In hindsight, they were mostly the compost from which 2013 and the rest of my life is going to be able to grow, but other than that, as a whole, those two bad boys can suck it.
Life is so short, and I’m done sitting in the shit I’ve been sitting in.
I already started to make some pretty significant progress cleaning it up these past few weeks. I intend to continue to live my life much cleaner, and much more fully this year. I’m done with denying myself what makes me happy. I’ll never waste my time trying to be what someone else thinks I should be again.
I’m going to do what I want to do, what’s right for my heart and my mind, what makes my body tingly with joy. I’m going to do this without regret, and as much as I’m able to, without giving into fear or setting myself up for heartache.
I am going to fill my life even more with like-minded friends, partners, and loved ones who believe in grabbing what they most desire to enrich and fulfill their minds, hearts, and lives. I’m going to surround myself with people who are ready to go for it the way I’m gonna go for it this year.
I am going to love, experience, sing, learn, discover, enjoy, laugh, grow, soar, giggle, dance, and celebrate my way all the way through 2013.
I’m already in love fully with 2013. Here’s to choosing that THIS year not only isn’t going to break my heart, but instead will be a year I’ll remember as one of my best!
Cheers, 2013, and Happy New Year to my friends and loved ones. I’m READY to have some real fun!
Thank you, always, for reading what I write, and for letting me share this with you. What a compliment.
~ cj 2013.01.01
You spoke for me and probably many others with this wonderful post. It resonated with me in so many ways. I wish you every happiness in 2013. And I think you will get it!
Thank you for reading it! I think I’ll get it, too. 🙂
I remember one New Year, maybe it was 2010, that you mentioned making an outline of your goals for the year. It made a big impression on me. You had given such serious thought to your goals–I was envious.
There are three big goals that I have for myself right now, but I haven’t taken the time to write them down. If I want to make tangible progress–and tangible is rather subjective, I need to give my dreams, my goal,s more effort than just passing thoughts every once in awhile. I need to think, write, think and then rewrite until I have a plan that I can execute. My plan needs to have markers, like mile markers on the highway that shows my tangible progress.
Thank you for writing on the topic and reminding me that have goals is good, but a plan is the only way I am going to make my dreams reality.
Regarding to-do lists: in the last two years, my to-do lists have been over-whelming and I stopped making them as they seemed to only serve as reminders of my failures instead of what I wanted to accomplish. Failure is inevitable, but I will look at my failure as short rest stops in between mile markers. A place to regroup and check my life’s map. I hope to find myself on the road less-traveled. It will be an empty highway because there is only one Linda and she is the only one on it! Sorry for my highway analogy–it even incleded rest stops. 🙂 oh! I forgot about the welcome centers! Some even serve free orange juice! 😉 now let me go put on some Willie Nelson.
Here’s to to-do lists that mean something! To-do lists that create a life of fulfilled dreams. Failure is inevitable, but let them be the rest areas in-between my mile markers. The places I have to pull over to regroup and look at a map to make sure I’m
Sorry for my screwy comment. I am on my phone and was typing blindly! It wouldn’t let me scroll. I hope the message can be read through the typos.