Dear heart
what are you feeling,
that you’d beat my chest
with your fists like that,
when he has yet to kiss me?
And oh my,
then there’s you,
Miss busy brain.
I thought at least you’d
have some sense,
but ’tis not appearing
even close to the case.
Instead you’ve spent days
overheating your space,
whirring and stirring thoughts
of all he and I could do
and might be,
as if you had some right
to knock me off my own feet
like this,
so soon,
and without fair warning.
I see how the two of you
have dragged the rest of me
unwittingly along,
when I wasn’t looking.
Today I discovered
you’d given me away
through my eyes,
making them spill over
with missing him tears,
when we hung up the phone.
Why would you do this to me?
I’ve only been near
the kindness in his eyes
a few times.
My eyes aren’t the only part of me
you’ve got under your spell,
my heart and head.
You’ve tingled my spine,
and you’ve made my ears ring, too.
Did you think I wouldn’t notice?
And more than once you’ve warmed,
well,
the two of you know quite well
what you’ve warmed.
And now that I’ve brought it up,
you shrug my shoulders,
and turn my cheeks
a blush bright shade of pink?
Since he showed up at my door,
a momentary guest
meant to be here
for only a week,
you’ve let my face,
without a bit of restraint,
nearly split from all this
non-stop grinning.
You started this
while he was here
and you haven’t let up a bit,
having a raucous party
laughing yourselves silly
when he calls.
Where are you going?
I’m not done talking to you yet.
There’s more I need
to get off my chest.
Once my palms got slightly sweaty;
and I know you’re the ones behind
making my legs go rubbery weak
when he softly said goodbye
the other day.
And heart,
don’t be coy.
I can see you trying to trip
my head into falling
over my heels.
But then, worst of all?
You’ve opened my mouth
and removed every filter
I had in place,
leaving my words to spill
into his ears
nearly unhindered,
wide open exposing
who I am
and what I already feel
for him.
Were you trying to be clever?
Or are you really this
hopelessly high school?
I’m wise to the two of you,
and I’m begging you
to just settle down.
I’d like to point out,
in case you hadn’t noticed,
that he doesn’t live here,
and, like us,
he’s starting life over.
There is no need to
overwhelm me,
you two.
Hm.
I see.
There’s no use in me
wasting my breath on you,
is there.
The evidence
proves quite clearly
that I’m not getting through
to either one of you.
It’s abundantly apparent
that neither of you care
a single wit
that I’ve only just met him.
How can I tell
you’re ignoring my pleas,
my reckless heart
and defiant mind?
Because just now,
while I’m pleading with you
to show some restraint
and take care of me,
you mocked my authority
by making my hands
write this poem.
~ cj 2015.03.26/30
Helplessly, hopelessly is not always a bad thing. What’s that old saying about releasing & seeing if they return. You know.
Hey, I know that saying! 🙂
Oh yeah. Nice poem!
Thank you. You’re ever so kind to me.
There is nothing — nothing — like those flutters you feel when “someone” connects with you on really deep and intimate levels….your mind and your heart. They’re at cross-purposes, those two. Usually. But when both are engaged by that “someone,” and it’s virtually out of the blue, you simply can’t help but sit up and take notice. What the…?
Goshdangit, I remember that feeling: giddy with anticipation, butterflies at the thought of a sweet, tentative first kiss, a pinch of trepidation and a cup of surprise at how comfy and candid your conversations are, the feeling that you’ve known each other forever. Talking to him is akin to slipping on your favorite 15-year-old moccasins. It’s heady stuff. And absolutely thrilling. At times, your brain will sputter and spit out a warning: careful, there, kiddo. Ignore it. You’re in such a state of readiness for the next chapter of your life. True, you may get hurt. Yeah, yeah, what if, right? Life is full of risks, honey. And, after all, (as far as I know) we only get one life. So, I’ve tried to follow this mantra the last few months: Live! Love! Laugh! What if?
You’re so very spot on, Morine…and quite poetic. 🙂