It’s time to clean up
and put away
everything that hasn’t
already run out or broken,
so I can be free
of this mess.
I always think
I’ll replace
what’s run out,
and fix all
that is broken,
as soon
as I find the time,
or as soon
as I can afford it
again.
But for now I cannot
because my life
is a mess,
and I am what’s broken.
So while I clean up
and put away
what I have today,
overwhelmed by all
that is broken or gone,
I begin to think of it
another way.
If I fix and replenish
won’t I just have more
that isn’t broken or gone
to clean up and put away?
And won’t I also have more
that can run out or break?
So maybe I won’t
fix whatever is broken
or get more of whatever
is gone.
Because if I don’t
for long enough
until everything
runs out or breaks,
I won’t have to clean up
or put away any more,
and I will be free of the mess.
~ 2013.10.12
I worry that freeing oneself of one’s current mess only leaves room for a new mess. Not to be pessimistic, just practical. I’d love to be optimistic and assume a new mess isn’t waiting around the corner, but life hasn’t treated me that way thus far.
I think that in someways were all broken. We just do the best we can at cleaning up and putting away, fixing & whatever else because if we didn’t we may not do anything & I don’t thing that is where we want to be.