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Category Archives: Favorites
Outsider
on the outside, peering in a dirty window through a sleeve-wiped hole cupping hands round my eyes gazing at the love i see wondering how it feels to be safe like that no matter what. beaten, painfilled heart battered, struggling … Continue reading
Protected: Crazy Lady
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Taker
You go deeper than the heart greedy taker-soul using Your love, like a shiny, sparkling hook fishing for another to feed Your raisin-shriveled heart. You say, “Pet Me, give to Me, look what I have home, car, money, manners, dress, … Continue reading
I Am Ok
I am ok. I don’t care. I don’t need you. You don’t matter. Until I wake. Or I sleep. Or I remember or I think. Until I see in my mind’s eye your eyes looking into mine. Until I go … Continue reading
Begging The Universe
I woke this morning, begging the universe to erase this truth from my now open eyes, so the stone heavy ache in my heart would be lifted as I struggle to breathe. I was denied that relief, and shown two … Continue reading
Posted in Favorites, Poetry, Writing
Tagged breakup, crossroads, life, love, relationships
7 Comments
Drawn
you begin by believing you want to be near you are drawn like a moth to a flame. you are fascinated, attracted. you can’t possibly get there fast enough. stumbling over yourself, you fall like a meteor lightning speed record. … Continue reading
My Hair
My hair suits me curly loud unruly deciding each day where to stick out anew, often annoying and attracting attention. I’ve never been able to get its moods or my own to line up in a predictable fashion. even when … Continue reading
The Fine Print
When it all went so terribly wrong, I initially believed I’d been fooled. I was angry that it wasn’t turning out as he’d advertised. But upon reading with newly found glasses I realized the fault was my own. I’d failed … Continue reading
Left Behind
green shirt white shorts mellow music your book and a walking plan peppered kisses soft words blissful sweet satisfaction echoes of your voice a little burn on my face our beautiful dance the message you left behind by leaving all … Continue reading
A Place Of Knowing
Something about you compels me. I want to share my secrets with you. I want to strip off my clothes in bright unforgiving light, exposing scars and my flaws so you can intimately and easily know. I want to fully … Continue reading
Every One
In this moment Every one in my life loves me, with the possible exception of the only one I believed in this moment I most wanted it to be. ~ 2011.08.09 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading
Unmistakeable
I can hear your heart in your breath in the air its loud insistence its gentle aching its almost insatiable longing are unmistakeable as anything other than love. I can hear your heart in your voice when it’s soft when … Continue reading
Smile
Stingy smile Stretched thin, barely discernible as such without a good deal of imagination. It replaced, without warning, the broad gaping laugh that was filled with teeth, and the back of your throat. Do you remember it? I do. It … Continue reading
Juggling Lies
Turn down the lights Please pour the wine The show is delightful tonight The star is dressed up Her shoes and hair shine And she’s a devilishly beautiful sight The stage is all set With dishes and props And a … Continue reading
Gone
I walked in this room today, to find you just gone. Each thing you last touched, everywhere you last moved, the spot where you last laid your head down for a moment of rest, and some peace… It all still … Continue reading
Posted in Favorites, Poetry
Tagged breakup, divorce, favorite, house, poetry, relationship
4 Comments
Impenetrable Wall
All In all you’ve built yourself One hell of an impenetrable Wall. So tall and thick That you can’t even see over it, or around it, and often mistake it for a wall you’ve convinced yourself belongs to me. So … Continue reading
When I Find
When I find you we won’t be lonely anymore. We’ll cuddle close, dream dreams, and we’ll dance. We’ll walk through woods, splash waves gaze often at stars and the moon. We’ll be adored and assured laugh often, sing loud, cling … Continue reading
Breeze
The guitar is still out, the jelly is here. The shirt is all folded and smells sweet of you. your hug tightly held with your gaze, in my heart i wonder if you’re hurt, surprised, too. it was only a … Continue reading
Posted in Favorites, Poetry
Tagged breakup, breeze, favorite, hurt, love, poetry, relationship
5 Comments
Click
She closed the door quietly on her way out. So silently, in fact, that he didn’t hear the ever so subtle sound as that latch caught for her final time. So stealthy and slowly that he missed every sign she … Continue reading
Protected: Taking Stock
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Posted in 21 And Done, Essay, Favorites
Tagged breakup, divorce, essay, relationship
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Unarmored Mercy
You’re under my skin against the meat of me, embedded in my flesh, holding my scarred heart, which is beating like hell, unarmored, mercy-filled, in your beautiful hands. Surprised, I don’t have any clothing in here; I’m a naked, raw, … Continue reading
Moving
The rest of the world moves on. While I wonder where I’m going. And run behind and spin around And question each thing I’m doing. ~ cj 2011.04.07 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit … Continue reading
Impossibly Far
Impossibly far from here we’re eating breakfast together eggs, mine covered in cheese, yours? I’m having steak, and you, local sausage. In common, too, we have cold and even a bit of snow My honey is pollenated by flowers far … Continue reading
Feather
like a feather gently swirling over a cliff free floating white and graceful twirling from where it was to where it’s pulled by gravity by nature by aching and joy inevitable and peaceful dangling and lifting swelling and swirling spinning … Continue reading
Strong Enough To Do A Load or Two
Two days ago, I had the emotional energy to do a single load of laundry. It was the first time, since I’d begun peeling the layers that were us off my skin. I watched it pile up day after day, … Continue reading
Not A Thing To Do But Move With You
no one ever stays up as long as i do or sleeps as little i can’t imagine lying down to rest while someone moved about awake without me coming along my restless spirit is always seeking moving, doing, whether there’s … Continue reading
How Dare You
how dare you violate our friendship and me by taking more than I offered without asking or even explaining making me feel so awkward and unsure of the violations’s very existence that I keep silent allowing the unwanted affection to … Continue reading
Worry
it’s raining and it’s my heart’s desire as it has always been to protect you even now when it’s far too late so i rush out to your grave to cover it in plastic i put rocks on it to … Continue reading
Dreaming
halfway between last night and tomorrow is my dream dying to tell me some truth about my life that’s too painful to come straight out and admit speaking in symbols and metaphors working hard to drive home the point of … Continue reading
Offerings
taking pennies in Sunday offerings from little boys to put in coffers for feeding those who take souls from little boys who put their pennies in Sunday offerings. ~ cj 2002.12.31 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading
Half A Life Later
today, half a life later comes the first time i take out the pain. strong enough to seek, willing to consider a long buried truth; the impact of the profound loss of you. half a life later i recognize your … Continue reading
Moving On
When someone moves out, moves on from my life I frantically clean after they depart move furniture around change how rooms look here and there, big and small, discard and replace rearrange my belongings so they look refreshingly new vary … Continue reading
Empty Room
downstairs, just under my office, where i now work hard to fill my empty life, are two rooms, also empty, that i can hardly bear to enter. if there were any way at all, i’d burn them off my house. … Continue reading
Flooding
memories flooding seeping oozing creeping lurking leaking slithering sneaking grating mocking harassing shocking haunting nagging biting dragging gnawing worming clutching storming draining gushing thrashing pushing choking stunning stabbing running flying rushing racing crushing beating savaging kicking ravaging pummeling battering pounding … Continue reading
Posted in Favorites, Poetry, Wordplay, Writing
Tagged breakup, estrangement, poetry, relationship, wordplay
2 Comments
Fountains of Youth
skipping, jumping, hopping streams of water in a fountain like small children playing hide seek in one side and out the other always seem so very different like no pattern quite deceiving but they always slowly return if you stand … Continue reading
Protected: Their Bits
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Clean
when you leave i inhale deeply the delicious clean you’ve left behind your presence lingers for days after you’re gone it’s not just the clean that you leave behind you’ve also left me a little strength and a smile that … Continue reading
How Is It Fair?
On 19 August, a Sharia court of appeal in Funtua, Katsina State, Nigeria, took the decision to uphold the sentence of death by stoning imposed on Amina Lawal. how is it fair that i should pay with my life for … Continue reading
DamneD
dead deceived decomposed decreased decried defaced defamed defeated defenseless deficient defied defiled dejected deluded demolished demonized demoralized depressed deprived derided deserted despised destroyed desultory detached detested detracted devastated devoid devoured diminished diminutive dirty disappointed disapproved discharged disclaimed disconcerted disconnected discontiguous … Continue reading
Mother’s Ache
It’s so sad to see a young girl, full of promise and future, already agreeing to tolerate unimaginable pain by giving her heart to a boy who can say the same to another that he says to the girl, who … Continue reading
Little Man
on my desk is a little man with a teal green coat and a flag in his hands he says “ho, ho” like he’s having fun but I gotta say, he’s the only one he came at christmas bringing cheer … Continue reading
The Only Place
I found this poem on 3.4.04. It was written on 3.27.01 the only place i can see you, the only way i can touch you, the only way we can be there again, is in my mind. I remember when … Continue reading
Posted in Favorites, Poetry
Tagged estrangement, poetry, relationship
Comments Off on The Only Place
Real Gold
Once you had it all in my eyes. The gold and beauty of you sparkled just beyond my reach. How desperate I became grasping for a mirage, a fantasy I desired with all my heart to be real. Now you … Continue reading
Memories
How varied your memories are from mine as time passes. Your memories made you call me, made you want to say hi, like we were old chums. My memories made me sick with horror at the sound of your voice. … Continue reading
