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Category Archives: Poetry
I See
I see, and appreciate, different beauty every time I look your way. ~ CJ 2012.12.03 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on this post
Who Am I?
I am in an odd space tonight, and cannot say what mood I’m in. If hard pressed, I couldn’t offer even the simplest guess on whether I’m okay or not. My mind is overflowing. My heart feels full and empty. … Continue reading
You Built
you built these walls because you want, but not badly enough to want to climb your own walls. ~ cj 2012.10.31 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe … Continue reading
Quiet Surprise
It’s quiet in here as I let the decision ‘not to’ sink in. I don’t hear a solitary peep and certainly not the roaring of chaotic thoughts I imagined would come barreling through all jumbled in my head from a … Continue reading
You Want
you want these rules because you want, but not badly enough to want to break your own rules. ~ cj 2012.10.28 I want to write more about this. But here is a start. Can you see it? So much is … Continue reading
I Am Guilty
I called you, I did. I am quite guilty of this: I was going to read you Titanic, a poem he graciously sent me. It would likely make you cry, as I am now weeping, and I knew that when … Continue reading
On My Own
It is dusk, with night not far behind, and soon enough, the lights will be on. Until then, I’ve got enough in me to glow in the dark on my own. ~ cj 2012.10.09 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post … Continue reading
Plenty Of Room
I went to the place I go when my heart seeks peace, to see if you’d fit in my new life, which includes this. When I got there I found plenty of beauty and discovered more than enough room. ~ … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged friendship, love, peaace, poetry, relationship
Comments Off on Plenty Of Room
Me
It’s so sweetly intimate that it makes my heart tingle and feels like you’ve whispered something softly in my ear that only we know whenever you sign your email or a colorful card with Me Bookmark on Delicious Digg this … Continue reading
Posted in 21 And Done, Poetry
Tagged friendship, intimacy, love, poetry, relationship
Comments Off on Me
What I Love About Poetry
What I love about poetry is that I can use any words in any way I choose without regard to anybody else’s rules. These words are freely available for me to lay about in any shape on any surface with … Continue reading
Sometimes
Sometimes the joke isn’t witty enough and the laughter isn’t nearly raucous enough to cover up the hurt lurking beneath, crouching for safety in the shadows of a silky sheer grin. And Sometimes it takes only the tiniest whisper from … Continue reading
Welcome
I knocked on your door believing I wanted to drop something off, give you a neatly wrapped up, you-mattered-to-me package, let you know there were no hard feelings on my side of the fence, and if you needed me to … Continue reading
Naked Bamboo
the bamboo poles stood mute and naked near the corner mirror deaf to the talk, cold against the warm hugs it witnessed, unable to understand our journey, the laughter, the learning filling the room, standing there stiffly unable to speak … Continue reading
Listening…
… I can see you’re typing but then the … disappear. I assign meaning to your hesitation …it must be quite important …and I wait to hear. I imagine you’re typing, stopping, thinking …then typing again. I love what you … Continue reading
Posted in 21 And Done, Poetry
Tagged communication, friendship, love, poetry, relationship
2 Comments
The Difference of A Day
Yesterday, I would have quickly sworn I loved nearly everything about us, with the exception of how you don’t feel the same for me. Today, I’m swearing, as I slowly realize nothing else about us matters, with the exception of … Continue reading
So I Did
I dared to dream that if I risked it, if I went for it, if I jumped, if I reached, if I grew, if I leaned, if I stood strong in the wind… I’d be found, I’d be wanted, I’d … Continue reading
Brave Heart
it’s easy to tough talk and behave as though there’s armor on your chest and a wall between you and all that wants to bring you to your knees at the point of a sword. it takes no strength to … Continue reading
Skin
Her skin, so much softer and thinner than she would have preferred to discover protecting her heart, tore just a little, bled just a little, when the sharp edged blade of his impatience cut into her. Its salty stinging sliced … Continue reading
Nightmare
Go away. How did you get in the door? How dare you invade? Just who let you in? You come ripping through here squeezing a moan, then a fearful tear, finally a scream out of me when you appear, unwelcome, … Continue reading
Fire’s Edge
If I fall into you will you catch me and dance, holding me tight, twirling, laughing at the edge of the fire? or will you step aside unable, unwilling to hold on, watching me, letting me tumble as I burn … Continue reading
Your Gift
you make me smile and giggle and chuckle and laugh and oftentimes nearly squeal with delight and sometimes you’ve made me snort and totally outright guffaw and for me for the girl I am there’s no greater gift at any … Continue reading
Perfect Harmony
You know when you’ve found a friend who fits so perfectly, you hardly notice you’re dancing through life with another? You glide together in perfect harmony, and the only thing that reminds you they’re someone separate from you is the … Continue reading
Playing Me
I made a movie of your hands touching the keys, playing my piano. you were amused that I’d do this, and asked me why. I lied to you and fooled you into believing I just wanted to learn how to … Continue reading
Pulling Up The Covers
when I first slept alone again after so many years next to you, my broken heart insisted I quickly make the bed the moment I woke each morning, so I wouldn’t hurt each time through my bedroom noticing how perfectly your side … Continue reading
Watching
whenever she’s awake, she’s watching… sometimes out there but usually me. if I move, she follows and brings her sister with. if I pay attention, she leans into me and loves back. I wonder what she’s thinking; she never says … Continue reading
Walls
Walls don’t stop the pain… they just trap it inside so it festers and oozes out destroying what could have been fertile ground. ~ cj 2012.06.24 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with … Continue reading
Lingered
Lingered (cj 2012.06.23) ********* My fingers lingered when we shook hands or was it yours that stayed behind whispering softly an extra moment as they gently pulled away saying goodbye and nice to meet each other. I liked that you … Continue reading
Holding Out For Dawn
When a night bears down heavy on me With the tragedies and mis-steps of the day I exhale a sigh and close my eyes Holding on tight til tomorrow. Long before the sun comes up The first light seeps into … Continue reading
I’m Not Going Anywhere
“I’m not going anywhere” you’d said, while you extracted yourself from the wreckage, wanting space between you and the painful rift you’d ruthlessly, thoughtlessly, carelessly caused between us. “I’m not going anywhere”, you’d said, but then, unable to resist, you … Continue reading
It Left Me Room
At first a hole opened up in my evenings at the time you used to call, yawning, stretching out wide open empty, keeping me awake. It left room and time to reflect alone in the dark, to sink into the … Continue reading
A Silken Web
That first piece of silken web delicately, finely woven from there to here and back again. Swaying softly in the breeze hardly seen it didn’t look like it could hold a thing. In those moments it could have been broken … Continue reading
I Am The Boss
******** I Trusted You ******** I trusted you. I opened my eyes my heart my mouth my arms my body my legs I trusted you when you promised you wouldn’t that you truly wouldn’t. I believed between us that no … Continue reading
Beautiful Blue
There she is, vaguely bathed in beautiful blue light. She calls out to me, a lover in the dark, promising to soothe me if I sit down and slide my fingers over her. I do as she asks. how could … Continue reading
Life Blooms Again
I walked outside with my eyes and my heart open to discover that In spite of all the neglect and death I’ve been focused on around here, my flowers bloomed again, the hummingbirds came back to drink sweet nectar, Sarge … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged 21anddone, blooming, breakup, divorce, life, pictures, poetry, relationship
3 Comments
Promise Me
Promise me if I wash my hands my hair my body that shirt those sheets this blanket promise me I’m not washing away the last of you from my life. ~ cj 2012.04.04 Flickr picture from rachelandrew http://www.flickr.com/photos/rachelandrew/409048810/lightbox/ Bookmark on … Continue reading
Thud
Every spring for many years now, a red cardinal I call Thud shows up on my back deck. He perches on a chair or an empty pot, stares for awhile, as if thinking… …and then relentlessly and repeatedly slams into … Continue reading
Many Miles
Many miles between where I am here, and where I feel, I hope, I achingly wish to go. Traveling always traveling a rocky, twisted path, with no clear direction, no helping hand but my own, no light shining but my … Continue reading
Hunger
I let your feeder go dry I let you go hungry I wanted you to find food somewhere else I want you and your hunger to go away. I’ve got no heart left here to feed you. He loved you … Continue reading
How the Writing Begins
What you do is start writing and don’t filter yourself. It isn’t for them, it’s for you. Once you have the pinhole drilled, you can’t close it down. It becomes wider and wider. You get better and better at finding … Continue reading
Scream
A beautiful fire that burned sweet and warm in my heart Overheated with hate and blame Escaped Licking nasty flames Began burning my skin my soul So hot it blistered every inch of me peeling my bark exposing the core … Continue reading
Touching
you reached out, reached over reached first gently kindly firmly unexpectedly and took my hand. I liked the soft pads of your fingers, the dark silky hair the velvet inside of your wrists you didn’t grip or grab you … Continue reading
Velvet Kiss
velvet softness going down silken touching holding on fingers twining pulling close weakened knees and racing pulse gentle hands exploring nuzzles tightly tangled all night nestled sweetly sighing deeply breathing melting moist need rekindling all I ache and all I … Continue reading
The Cold Side
I pile things on the cold side of my bed, and rarely clean it off because it’s lonely when it’s empty. If you were here, you’d warm that side. As luck would have it, it’s the one you like to … Continue reading
Winds of Change
Doors close, windows open, a brisk breeze blows my world around clearing out all the ugly things that tear my heart from its hinges. I breathe in. Today is bitter hard yet better. Wherever I land When the wind stops … Continue reading
Forever Promise
I know it’s late to tell you and can bear no hopeful fruit here in this dark but I cannot leave you behind again without you knowing from my heart, the only promise that ever mattered to me was your … Continue reading
Where In My World?
Where in my world did you go? I’ve lost you. But I know, I remember, I still feel where we touched, how you gratefully smiled. I squeeze my eyes hard to clear them, but when I open them to look … Continue reading
I Am
You never asked me to be someone other than who I am. But when I’m with you I catch me being someone other than who I really am. When I notice this I realize I shouldn’t be with you. But … Continue reading
Not Quite Ready
Can you hear my heart beat from there? Tonight, with quiet surrounding me for the first time in a week, I can. It’s hanging out here, still on my sleeve, tender and a little bit sore. I’m surprised to find … Continue reading
For Better And Worse
My life has changed a lot for better and worse, since I told you I couldn’t do worse with you any more waiting for life to get better. ~ cj 2012.02.14 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading
Happy Valentines Day
There was that moment when you told me things were fixed. Do you remember? Tears of joy and gratitude rushed to spill down my cheeks because it had been a brutal day, everyone angry at me for something I didn’t … Continue reading
Curtains
What we might have been breezed through the room so quickly, you missed the billowing flutter of curtains I’d hid my heart behind. ~ cj 2012.02.07 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with … Continue reading
Pearl
I was surprised to find a hole left behind where you just stood. It’s not a deep one; you were there but a moment in my life. I can bear it, so I think I’ll sit a bit and form … Continue reading
Lasting Peace and Strength
When you don’t like something about yourself or in your world… you can work to change it, learn to accept it, or attempt to control it. Acceptance will bring you lasting peace. Change will bring you lasting strength. Control may … Continue reading
This Is MY Game
This is MY game. I CHOOSE my moves, and I make them. I will not roll over, stand by, or step aside. I am filled with confidence, certainty, and energy. I am fully focused on my envisioned outcome. I am … Continue reading
A First Hello
And there you were already saying a first hello exactly on time before I was quite ready. You were everything and nothing like my wild mind had imagined you to be. And now that we’ve said a first goodbye, I … Continue reading
Looking
There you are looking at me from your picture, green bedroom eyes and cutie pie smile, open and sweet. Would you blush to know I think you’re beautiful? I’m a bit pink from the telling. Your hat and you look … Continue reading
Touched
You touched everything in my world until it began to ache so deeply to be touched by you that I couldn’t bear to let you touch me or anything in my world ever again. ~ cj 2011.12.29 Bookmark on Delicious … Continue reading
Abandoned
You abandoned everything where it was, incomplete, messed up, broken, dead… …like us. You won’t return to complete, clean up, restore, resurrect… nor would I accept. And now I am left behind to recover however I am able from your … Continue reading
Innocent Spouse
Innocent spouse, fraud on the community. That’s what it’s called when you say I do and you try and he tries and then he stops and turns on you blaming you and frauding what you’ve built, while you become helplessly … Continue reading
Where My Happiness Is
I saw you in my dream last night, over to the right and slightly behind where my happiness is located now. You watched me from a place you had no reason to revisit unless you were trying to catch a … Continue reading
Outsider
on the outside, peering in a dirty window through a sleeve-wiped hole cupping hands round my eyes gazing at the love i see wondering how it feels to be safe like that no matter what. beaten, painfilled heart battered, struggling … Continue reading
Change
You can change everything about you, but nothing you change will ever change anything for me. ~ cj 2011.10.26 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the … Continue reading
Welcome, Sweet Friend
It’s been a long battle, and I’ve watched you suffer at the hands of the heartless while you fought to reclaim me. I’ve been here, cheering you on, while you conquered demons that stampeded without warning from your past right … Continue reading
That Difference Mattered
My heart burned because we were so different in all the ways that mattered to me… while you burned all our possibilities focusing on differences that didn’t matter to me at all. That difference mattered. ~ cj 2011.10.14 Bookmark on … Continue reading
Dear Mr. Perfect
You had everything right… brains, education, resources, privilege, possessions, position, and charm enough to convince the world from a distance, and for awhile me, that you had everything right. When I got close, though, I couldn’t help but see everything … Continue reading
WooHoo
Hey look! The sun is up The day is new Fifteen minutes passed And no thought of you. The End. ~ cj 2011.10.06 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about … Continue reading
No More
Since we met I’ve never said no to you, even when no would have freed me. I’ve looked away trapped in silence, no answer, shrugged. I bit my lip which you saw, and my tongue, so you couldn’t. I’ve said … Continue reading
Thief
With all my heart I hope you love that man enough to pay back what you’ve stolen from him You held him tight while you were holding another extracting a promise that he’d deny his own nobility in exchange for … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry, Writing
5 Comments
Shivering
I left you alone, your last goodnight ringing in my ears, tears blurring my sight. I dimmed the lights quietly on my way out, and the truth is, I shivered from your cold. I wasn’t sure my heart was strong … Continue reading
All My Life
All my life love equaled owning. It did not exist, love could not last, unless it stayed beside me tucked in with my life. Please know, I did not have to hold tight. Still, I could not imagine how to … Continue reading
Last Call
GM …..Yes. A Good Morning. Call? …..I’m sorry; I will no longer take it. Listening. …..I have nothing more. Hey there. I hope you’re having a good day. …..I am sad, but I’ve reclaimed my heart. I will say goodnight, … Continue reading
Relief
relief escapes in deep sighs from my lips and heart relief floods me as i breathe deeper now away from you than i dared anywhere near relief kisses me holds me closer than you ever cared to relief touches me … Continue reading
Remaining Fool
You are the only remaining fool for you. You are the only fool remaining for you. ~ cj 2011.09.23 Either way, a fool remains. Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet … Continue reading
In Your Heart
I will not lie. Sometimes I wish I were living in your new house with you. It would be beautiful, but not because it is a new house. It would be beautiful because you are living there. Sometimes I wish … Continue reading
Beware
Beware of one who calls upon you without warning or explanation, to offer you, especially you, a word of use-ful warning, without also offering a useful explanation of why she chose you for her calling. ~ cj 2011.09.23 Bookmark on … Continue reading
Evil
The evil in the world skulks in darkness demanding silence for hoarded secrets. ~ cj 2011.09.22 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on this … Continue reading
Limbo
Limbo. That moment when my heart is so twisted up and unbalanced that all it would take is a whisper from you for me to fall back into your arms. ~ cj 2011.09.22 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend … Continue reading
Deserving Soulmates
You are so very right You deserve each other in every kind of way. But I am not so sure I could swallow the words soul mates as uttered by you to describe your destructive alliance. Implying you own anything … Continue reading
Give And Take
Allow yourself to show need, and learn how to take what is offered, accepting another’s generous gift with grace and humility. Do so with a wide-open heart, because there is no other way you can truly understand how to give … Continue reading
Gifts
You lost all your gifts along the way running down a busy highway of fear chased by a runaway load of frightened imagination filled with terrors that wouldn’t come to pass. You anxiously dropped each one as you desperately struggled … Continue reading
A Love I Can Hold Onto
You do not love me back in any kind of way I can hold on to. I must let go so I do not fall over an edge where I cannot be found or there is little left to recover. … Continue reading
For You, Sweet Friend
Thank you for being part of my journey, sweet friend. I hope you find whatever you seek today, as I dream for you always. I wish you a memorable journey of beautiful moments strung together with smiles and love-filled hugs. … Continue reading
Never Enough
All my life I was never enough for them or the others, for her, or him, then, for you, and mostly definitely until now for me. ~ cj 2011.09.17 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via … Continue reading
Knock, Knock
Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s me; You know who I am. How are you? Are you alone and may I come in? It’s chilly outside and your heart is so warm. Our lives are scattered with beautiful moments when the … Continue reading
Here We Go Heart
Here we go, heart. Are you packed up and ready to go? I’ve got Go Gordy And my map. What have you done to prepare? I’ve brought my journals and… Ah, I see you brought your passion. That’s good. Oh, … Continue reading
Heart Strings
Sweet man what is the thread that ties us from here back to there and to each other? It’s been so many days and so many loves since we held one another. You’d think any tie we had any sense … Continue reading
Sweet Sup
No more crumbs I am not a baby bird dying for some chewed up puked out leftover love. No more lonely waiting for morsels of attention to fall my way while I sit like a sad puppy with big beggar … Continue reading
Cravings
You have sampled my sweetest wares and know full well in your heart I’ll satisfy your deepest cravings. ~ cj 2011.09.13 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe … Continue reading
Fifty Hours
A lifetime of knowing and never knowing you trails behind and stretches out in front of me. And now here we are fifty hours away from eleven hours together at our very best. I will try to be present and … Continue reading
The Details Do Not Matter
Do you know me? You no longer know my details. But in this moment they do not matter. I do want to tell you this much. This much I need you to know. I still play piano. Every single key … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry, Writing
Tagged heartbreak, hollywood, love, past, poetry, relationship, sunshine
4 Comments
Perfectly Happy
There is only one direction I can go from perfect and if I gained it, I would always be ripe for a fall from such a high perch. So I’ve made a choice to abandon perfect. And instead, I want … Continue reading
Hollywood & Sunshine
Those were the days of Hollywood and Sunshine both of us shining stars glowing brightly in a different space. I stumbled by skinny in my brown polyester dress waiting tables hungry for food waiting on you starving for love. You … Continue reading
Protected: Crazy Lady
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Taker
You go deeper than the heart greedy taker-soul using Your love, like a shiny, sparkling hook fishing for another to feed Your raisin-shriveled heart. You say, “Pet Me, give to Me, look what I have home, car, money, manners, dress, … Continue reading
Everywhere I Go
Everywhere I go, I go with my whole heart. It always lets me know it’s right by my side. Sometimes it screams when I’ve burned it raw And other times it makes me fly. But scream or soar, I will … Continue reading
I Am Ok
I am ok. I don’t care. I don’t need you. You don’t matter. Until I wake. Or I sleep. Or I remember or I think. Until I see in my mind’s eye your eyes looking into mine. Until I go … Continue reading
Begging The Universe
I woke this morning, begging the universe to erase this truth from my now open eyes, so the stone heavy ache in my heart would be lifted as I struggle to breathe. I was denied that relief, and shown two … Continue reading
Posted in Favorites, Poetry, Writing
Tagged breakup, crossroads, life, love, relationships
7 Comments
No Dark Storms
If you will but visit when you are wind-battered you will find me here ready to hold you when you are too weary to hold your own. I will not clip your wings for my own gain. Instead, my belief … Continue reading
My Need
My desire to be heard does not exceed my need to be treated with compassion in the face of my vulnerability. My willingness to accept your help does not exceed my need to be treated with grace in the face … Continue reading
Empty Room – Reposted
This is a piece I wrote after my son moved away from home. Appropriate today, the First Day of school for my friends with and now without children. Time goes fast and empty is hard sometimes. Years later, the walls … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Comments Off on Empty Room – Reposted
