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Tag Archives: heartbreak
Heartbreak
The greatest heartbreak of my life is that no matter how much time I am given to love what I love, it will never, can never be enough. ~ cj 2015.12.10 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading
Storm
A bad dream woke me this morning. In it, you announced, without your “hey there” kind warmth, “We need to talk.” My fear froze me, and my pounding heart held me still in a place I never want to be, … Continue reading
Never Ever
No one gets to treat me like you did, again, and over again. Not even, especially not, never, ever again, you. ~ cj 2015.02.18 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet … Continue reading
Posted in 21 And Done, MM, Poetry
Tagged breakup, dignity, heartbreak, poetry, relationships, self-transformation
2 Comments
I Am Her Master
This isn’t a poem. It’s not even an essay, really. I haven’t written much lately, because I knew if I did, my tears would cloud my vision, and my whole chest would clench into a ball. I knew it would … Continue reading
Be Safe
Oh my heart’s dearest pain, no need to worry, I’m safer here, running far, driving fast, going where I’ve never been, and don’t yet know the way. I’m safer here on my own, worlds away from where you try to … Continue reading
Leaving Limbo
This was never Limbo to me, and as my heart heals, I discover the will to refuse that lie of a label I let you use far too long to describe how you left me holding and hanging while I … Continue reading
Posted in MM, Writing
Tagged breakup, heartbreak, limbo, music, photography, poetry, relationships
3 Comments
Tender
you cannot cut and cut and cut, again and over again, feasting without regard, and then expect to come back and find more tender meat to filet from my raw naked bones. ~ cj 2014.11.25 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this … Continue reading
Still Stuck Sitting Still
so many things we could have said, I could have said. so many ideas for how to get through this moment. and yet, we are still here, I am still here, still sitting here, here sitting still, still stuck and … Continue reading
Disregarded Matter
There are two kinds of people who don’t matter enough to themselves. One of them gives a whole heart away without regard to the cost. The other treats that person’s heart with the same disregard. What a pain-filled matter love … Continue reading
Posted in 21 And Done, MM, Poetry
Tagged breakups, divorce, heartbreak, marriage, poetry, relationships
4 Comments
The Same Sky
You are alive, growing, a leaf, a branch, a ring at a time, stubbornly rooted in an earth of your choosing. I see now that I was but a colorful streak of dusk-time fun splaying and twisting through the same … Continue reading
A Moment
a moment when a thing was said and another was felt time stopped so an ear could hear and an eye could see so a heart could open firmly and fully and let what is true in that moment and … Continue reading
Posted in MM, Poetry, Writing
Tagged breakup, heartbreak, life, loss, love, poetry, relationship, time, transformation
3 Comments
A Longer Moment
a moment a moment when a thing was said when a thing was said and another was felt when a thing was said and another was felt time stopped time stopped so an ear could hear time stopped and an … Continue reading
Posted in MM, Poetry, Writing
Tagged breakup, heartbreak, live, love, poetry, relationships, time, transformation
4 Comments
Impossible Destiny
There is so much distance between where I am, and where I dream of being. And I may never get there. But maybe, but maybe, you’ll hold me for tonight. So I can dream I’m there again and maybe, and … Continue reading
Protected: I Hate These Moments
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Posted in Poetry, Writing
Tagged healing, heartache, heartbreak, life, love, poetry, relationship, relationships, self development, time
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That Was Easy
Such a simple answer to the coldness on that side of the bed. I have a heated mattress pad. This morning it occurred to me to switch that side of it on, and then slide my hand over there, imagining … Continue reading
I Matter
It only took me a minute or two on the 17th to write Existing. I suppose it was ready to be said without much hesitation. But after I was done, I waffled back and forth for quite awhile before and … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged breakup, divorce, heartbreak, love, marriage, poetry, relationship, relationships
7 Comments
Wanting To
No matter how much I understand it, I’ll never get it. I hope one day I’ll get over wanting to. ~ cj 2013.04.07 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about … Continue reading
I Imagined We’d Dance
I’ve closed my eyes so many times since I found you again imagining if we walked softly and waited til the timing was right, we’d one day sink sweetly, breathing into the rhythm of dancing together again. I’d trust you … Continue reading
No Winners
Sometime in 1994 or 1995, my now soon-to-be ex and I were in counseling. We’d separated, because I needed to be understood, accepted, and loved for who I was, and that’s not how I felt. During the counseling, our therapist … Continue reading
If You Died
If you died, I would dance for my life, for all the times you tried to kill who I was, when all I was trying to do when I was with you was dance for your love. ~ cj 2013.02.04 … Continue reading
Complete Silence
Complete silence surrounds me, so loud I can hear your absence like a pin that hit the floor, and reverberated without warning, expanding quickly in my empty echo chamber, until it became a requiem filling a symphony hall, at the … Continue reading
Posted in 21 And Done, Poetry
Tagged breakup, heartache, heartbreak, marriage, music, noise, poetry, relationship, silence
2 Comments
Flush
I WISH all the mystery had been gone. The secrets I found you keeping were far worse than anything I could have imagined. And I would have given anything to be able to just flush them away. ~ cj 2013.01.31 … Continue reading
Posted in 21 And Done, Poetry
Tagged divorce, heartbreak, humor, marriage, poetry, relationship, secrets
Comments Off on Flush
Skin
Her skin, so much softer and thinner than she would have preferred to discover protecting her heart, tore just a little, bled just a little, when the sharp edged blade of his impatience cut into her. Its salty stinging sliced … Continue reading
I Forgive You
No matter what you’ve done to me in my past or try do in the future, regardless of how much you’ve set me back in my life with your choices, in the face of how rude you are to me … Continue reading
Posted in Essay
Tagged divorce, essay, forgiveness, heartbreak, relationship
Comments Off on I Forgive You
I Am The Boss
******** I Trusted You ******** I trusted you. I opened my eyes my heart my mouth my arms my body my legs I trusted you when you promised you wouldn’t that you truly wouldn’t. I believed between us that no … Continue reading
Forever Promise
I know it’s late to tell you and can bear no hopeful fruit here in this dark but I cannot leave you behind again without you knowing from my heart, the only promise that ever mattered to me was your … Continue reading
Where In My World?
Where in my world did you go? I’ve lost you. But I know, I remember, I still feel where we touched, how you gratefully smiled. I squeeze my eyes hard to clear them, but when I open them to look … Continue reading
Not Quite Ready
Can you hear my heart beat from there? Tonight, with quiet surrounding me for the first time in a week, I can. It’s hanging out here, still on my sleeve, tender and a little bit sore. I’m surprised to find … Continue reading
The Rocks You Left Behind
This is one of my first iPhoto/YouTube videos. 🙂 These are the rocks you left behind on the land that we both loved. The ones you can see are hardened and cold and heavy. The ones you can’t are too. … Continue reading
Each Moment
Each moment you’re alive, you have the opportunity to take a step. Sometimes the best you can do is a baby step. Other times, it’s a leap of faith. And without knowing it’s coming, once in awhile you step off … Continue reading
Shivering
I left you alone, your last goodnight ringing in my ears, tears blurring my sight. I dimmed the lights quietly on my way out, and the truth is, I shivered from your cold. I wasn’t sure my heart was strong … Continue reading
Last Call
GM …..Yes. A Good Morning. Call? …..I’m sorry; I will no longer take it. Listening. …..I have nothing more. Hey there. I hope you’re having a good day. …..I am sad, but I’ve reclaimed my heart. I will say goodnight, … Continue reading
Knock, Knock
Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s me; You know who I am. How are you? Are you alone and may I come in? It’s chilly outside and your heart is so warm. Our lives are scattered with beautiful moments when the … Continue reading
Fifty Hours
A lifetime of knowing and never knowing you trails behind and stretches out in front of me. And now here we are fifty hours away from eleven hours together at our very best. I will try to be present and … Continue reading
The Details Do Not Matter
Do you know me? You no longer know my details. But in this moment they do not matter. I do want to tell you this much. This much I need you to know. I still play piano. Every single key … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry, Writing
Tagged heartbreak, hollywood, love, past, poetry, relationship, sunshine
4 Comments
Digging Out Of A Ditch
When I was a teenager, I was in a band. One day, another band came in on their day off, and heard us play. The band members said “Hey, if you ever wanna move to Florida, you could join our … Continue reading
