Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a sad one year anniversary for me. I made a choice because I couldn’t take the pain anymore. One year ago tomorrow was the day my husband and I stopped living together after more than 23 years.

I’ve learned so very much since this new phase of my life began, including how to accept, as much as possible, that there aren’t rewind buttons on some life decisions.

As I continue to recover from the loss this change of path and partner was for me, I will also continue to celebrate and enjoy the possibilities of the future.

I will continue to try to understand my part in that past, so I am a wiser and better woman.

And I will remain committed to moving forward and looking back with as much grace, forgiveness, and compassion as I can.

I will try to do this whether a moment or memory I’m facing makes me eager with hope or fills me with the pain of remorse, anger or regret.

Many more significant changes lie ahead in the next few months for me. While I’m not looking forward to the heartache and pain they will bring up or cause anew, I have learned that I can not only survive, but thrive in the face of daunting adversity.

And when I reach the other side, I will be whole, strong, wise and alive. I already know where I want to go, and I have the love of friends and my son to fill my heart. I am luckier than most, even if tomorrow is a sad one year anniversary for me.

~ cj 2012.06.13

(Originally posted on Facebook)