Fifty Hours

A lifetime of knowing
and never knowing you
trails behind
and stretches out
in front of me.

And now here we are
fifty hours away from
eleven hours together
at our very best.

I will try to be present
and work hard to ignore
that road never traveled
with you.

I will struggle to move
in the moment
and breathe in
through my heart
store every word
every thought
every sweet desire
I know we will feel

All the while
each ticking second
will move me closer
to that sad moment
when my heart will go
back to breaking

at first sharply
burning and searing
but then slowly sliding
to the back burner of ache
it has always simmered on.

I become suddenly
infinitely aware
in a most unwelcome way
that the journey
to where my heart will break
has already painfully started
in the seconds of
countdown slipping by.

I cannot help myself
and I slide into darkness
My heart already beginning
its tumble down
Even now
fifty hours away
from my eleven sweet hours
with you.

~ cj 2011.09.13

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3 Responses to Fifty Hours

  1. Jeff The Archer says:

    Stay positive. 50 Hours to have some fun and maybe relearn some fun times to be re addressed.

    • cjromb says:

      I have 50 hours until the 11. Then I only have 11. 🙂 I think there are some SERIOUS messages in this experience for me about what I want in my life, even though it cannot be with this person. I think it’s a pretty amazing piece of interesting fortune that he showed up right now in my life.

      • Jeff the guy that takes some photos. says:

        Timing is an amazing thing! Both good and less good. They are both important. You have to know the bad to get to the good.

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