Tag Archives: relationships

Mistaken Identity

You thought that I’d found my soulmate. My whole heart believed I had, too. But then you chose another, so I had to let go of believing my soulmate was you. ~ cj 2016.12.23 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post … Continue reading

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The Magic is Gone

my breath catches behind the rising lump in my throat choking off all my best words, leaving them stuck and flailing for air. I am helpless to do anything but blurt and stammer and spit out the few that remain. … Continue reading

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I Will Miss

I will miss The hikes that would have left us breathless, under the dark skies our eyes would have adjusted to; the planes we might have boarded, to exciting destinations eagerly awaiting our arrival. I’ll miss the pictures we wanted … Continue reading

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Never Ever

No one gets to treat me like you did, again, and over again. Not even, especially not, never, ever again, you. ~ cj 2015.02.18 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet … Continue reading

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Leaving Limbo

This was never Limbo to me, and as my heart heals, I discover the will to refuse that lie of a label I let you use far too long to describe how you left me holding and hanging while I … Continue reading

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I Am

Take Care, he wrote. I am, I replied. Finally, I am, I thought. Finally, starting now, I hope I am. Then, I added Thank you. I added it but I don’t know why. Perhaps it will be a final tip … Continue reading

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Disregarded Matter

There are two kinds of people who don’t matter enough to themselves. One of them gives a whole heart away without regard to the cost. The other treats that person’s heart with the same disregard. What a pain-filled matter love … Continue reading

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The Same Sky

You are alive, growing, a leaf, a branch, a ring at a time, stubbornly rooted in an earth of your choosing. I see now that I was but a colorful streak of dusk-time fun splaying and twisting through the same … Continue reading

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A Longer Moment

a moment a moment when a thing was said when a thing was said and another was felt when a thing was said and another was felt time stopped time stopped so an ear could hear time stopped and an … Continue reading

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How To Avoid Getting Burned

How to Avoid Getting Burned: Reduce your sensitivity, or Reduce your exposure. Sounds easy, Feels impossible. ~ cj 2014.06.20 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the … Continue reading

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Uprooted

What isn’t planted deeply enough, tended to with plenty of loving care, and carefully sheltered from possible harm, is ripe for uprooting or being blown away in the winds of a storm. How much can be weathered may not be … Continue reading

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Such a quandary; when to stay put and sit in peace to wait, and when to leave, because too much reasonable time has passed. It is my single greatest challenge, especially when it’s something my heart cares deeply about. Is … Continue reading

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Protected: I Hate These Moments

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Whole Enough

I am not whole in the way I view you to be. I cannot yet sit still and allow simply being to wash over me. Although I can, I do not like to stand on my own, isolated, uncomfortable, alone. … Continue reading

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Bleeding Freedom

I picked at myself, mercilessly digging ragged nails deep into my flesh, an endless cycle of scratches and scabs and scars. I needed something, anything, to dig into me deeper than you did. I made everything bleed, little places, small … Continue reading

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I Can’t Do This Alone

I thought I’d do anything to be happy with you, rather than being Alone. What I really want, though, is just to be happy, and there’s nothing I can do Alone to be happy with you. ~ cj 2013.11.27 Bookmark … Continue reading

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My Proposal

No one else is going to let us carry on, like this, together, so let’s just carry on together, like this, without them. ~ cj 2013.11.13 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with … Continue reading

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A Way To Be Free Of The Mess

It’s time to clean up and put away everything that hasn’t already run out or broken, so I can be free of this mess. I always think I’ll replace what’s run out, and fix all that is broken, as soon … Continue reading

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I Matter

It only took me a minute or two on the 17th to write Existing. I suppose it was ready to be said without much hesitation. But after I was done, I waffled back and forth for quite awhile before and … Continue reading

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Receiving Gifts

Last week, after all these years, I finally unwrapped the mystery of why gifts are not the way to this girl’s heart. It happened as I was explaining the five languages of love to a friend, while getting to know … Continue reading

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Hard Squeeze

If you hold something loosely, it may not stay where you hope it will; you are so right about that. But the more you squeeze it, in an attempt to keep it where you want it, the more likely it … Continue reading

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Opposites Attract

it hurts my heart less, …when we’re not connected… it hurts your life more. ~ cj 2013.04.02 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on … Continue reading

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Run Free

Maybe some women want a partner, whether that partner is wild or not, who understands and admires a woman who needs to run free. Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet … Continue reading

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Rebuilding From A Fire

One day, driving around in 2002 looking for properties to renovate, my ex and I came up on a house that had burned. The front window was broken out. Ignoring his preference that I didn’t, I approached with my camera, … Continue reading

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You Built

you built these walls because you want, but not badly enough to want to climb your own walls. ~ cj 2012.10.31 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe … Continue reading

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Walls

Walls don’t stop the pain… they just trap it inside so it festers and oozes out destroying what could have been fertile ground. ~ cj 2012.06.24 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with … Continue reading

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The Bearable Weight of Uncertainty

I’ve always loved adventure. But there’s an odd dissonance inside me: I’ve always hated uncertainty. I dislike suspense more than anyone I know.  I read the end of the book before I can settle into the story.  I read the … Continue reading

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For Better And Worse

My life has changed a lot for better and worse, since I told you I couldn’t do worse with you any more waiting for life to get better. ~ cj 2012.02.14 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading

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Pearl

I was surprised to find a hole left behind where you just stood. It’s not a deep one; you were there but a moment in my life. I can bear it, so I think I’ll sit a bit and form … Continue reading

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Five Things About Online Dating

First, a definition….by “online dating” I’m talking about any situation where you become interested in someone online, with the intention of potentially meeting and dating them. This could be a formal online dating site, or maybe you’ve connected on Facebook … Continue reading

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The Elements & Result of Upset

********************** UPSET Three things create upset: Thwarted intentions, unfulfilled expectations and undelivered communications. All three are almost always present, but one of them is usually senior. When upset is present, the result is a drop in the level of participation … Continue reading

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Each Moment

Each moment you’re alive, you have the opportunity to take a step. Sometimes the best you can do is a baby step. Other times, it’s a leap of faith. And without knowing it’s coming, once in awhile you step off … Continue reading

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Relationship Addiction

This information came from a site called Relationship Addiction. I’ll blog and write more about this soon. For now, I think it’s important to put this out here, in case it resonates with you. Modeling has been shown to be … Continue reading

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WooHoo

Hey look! The sun is up The day is new Fifteen minutes passed And no thought of you. The End. ~ cj 2011.10.06 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about … Continue reading

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Limbo

Limbo. That moment when my heart is so twisted up and unbalanced that all it would take is a whisper from you for me to fall back into your arms. ~ cj 2011.09.22 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend … Continue reading

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Deserving Soulmates

You are so very right You deserve each other in every kind of way. But I am not so sure I could swallow the words soul mates as uttered by you to describe your destructive alliance. Implying you own anything … Continue reading

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Give And Take

Allow yourself to show need, and learn how to take what is offered, accepting another’s generous gift with grace and humility. Do so with a wide-open heart, because there is no other way you can truly understand how to give … Continue reading

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Never Enough

All my life I was never enough for them or the others, for her, or him, then, for you, and mostly  definitely until now for me.  ~ cj 2011.09.17 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via … Continue reading

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Heart Strings

Sweet man what is the thread that ties us from here back to there and to each other? It’s been so many days and so many loves since we held one another. You’d think any tie we had any sense … Continue reading

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Cravings

You have sampled my sweetest wares and know full well in your heart I’ll satisfy your deepest cravings. ~ cj 2011.09.13 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe … Continue reading

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Fifty Hours

A lifetime of knowing and never knowing you trails behind and stretches out in front of me. And now here we are fifty hours away from eleven hours together at our very best. I will try to be present and … Continue reading

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Begging The Universe

I woke this morning, begging the universe to erase this truth from my now open eyes, so the stone heavy ache in my heart would be lifted as I struggle to breathe. I was denied that relief, and shown two … Continue reading

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Digging Out Of A Ditch

When I was a teenager, I was in a band. One day, another band came in on their day off, and heard us play. The band members said “Hey, if you ever wanna move to Florida, you could join our … Continue reading

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I Love You Doesn’t Mean Anything

I Love You doesn’t mean anything…When you say it all the time…. I had a brilliant conversation this past week with a life coach and friend of mine, Lisa. I’ve been thinking for days about the many things we discussed.  … Continue reading

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Causing Our Own Demise

The Jealous cause their own demise. If you’ve had an insanely jealous partner, you know what I’m talking about. The jealousy comes from a fear of losing the love of that partner. What’s ironic, though, is that the jealousy (which … Continue reading

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