Tag Archives: love

Skylark

I wonder if you remember with the warmth that I do, how you and the skylark never failed to save my heart and me from the frozen, pitch black winter the rest of my world was. ~ cj 2017.01.07 Bookmark … Continue reading

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Mistaken Identity

You thought that I’d found my soulmate. My whole heart believed I had, too. But then you chose another, so I had to let go of believing my soulmate was you. ~ cj 2016.12.23 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post … Continue reading

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I Love

I chose, on purpose, during my darkest times, that love was the path I wanted to travel. I’ve chosen this over and over, even though choosing that wasn’t always easy. I knew how hard it would be. I knew I … Continue reading

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Torn

Torn in two missing you. ~ cj 2016.01.05 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on this post

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Heartbreak

The greatest heartbreak of my life is that no matter how much time I am given to love what I love, it will never, can never be enough. ~ cj 2015.12.10 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading

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Inside Me

When I am filled with the largeness and largesse of you, intense, in my space, inside, not even the skinniest whisper of a space remains anywhere in me for the fire of my fear, or the smoky smoldering shadow of … Continue reading

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Glorious Hope

The sun still rose on the day he and I had to say goodbye, confusing me. She must not have seen the painful storm raging in my heart, or she would have hidden her shining face behind blistery, broken-hearted clouds. … Continue reading

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Waiting

Waiting for no one to come home. ~ cj 2015.06.16 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on this post

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Take Good Care

Take Good Care, I told you, and I left, because your heart wasn’t there, and you didn’t take good care of mine when it was. ~ cj 2015.04.03 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit … Continue reading

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I Think You Knew

There you were, a curious spirit standing apart from the others, watching me. When I noticed you, you came towards me immediately, bright eyes shining with hope. We’d only just met, yet you chanced getting closer, wanting to catch my … Continue reading

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I Am

Take Care, he wrote. I am, I replied. Finally, I am, I thought. Finally, starting now, I hope I am. Then, I added Thank you. I added it but I don’t know why. Perhaps it will be a final tip … Continue reading

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The Same Sky

You are alive, growing, a leaf, a branch, a ring at a time, stubbornly rooted in an earth of your choosing. I see now that I was but a colorful streak of dusk-time fun splaying and twisting through the same … Continue reading

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A Moment

a moment when a thing was said and another was felt time stopped so an ear could hear and an eye could see so a heart could open firmly and fully and let what is true in that moment and … Continue reading

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A Longer Moment

a moment a moment when a thing was said when a thing was said and another was felt when a thing was said and another was felt time stopped time stopped so an ear could hear time stopped and an … Continue reading

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Impossible Destiny

There is so much distance between where I am, and where I dream of being. And I may never get there. But maybe, but maybe, you’ll hold me for tonight. So I can dream I’m there again and maybe, and … Continue reading

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Genderational Relations

A lifetime of men who couldn’t see who I was because a lifetime of women blinded them and shamed their broken hearts because another lifetime of men couldn’t see who they were and on and on it goes while I … Continue reading

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How To Avoid Getting Burned

How to Avoid Getting Burned: Reduce your sensitivity, or Reduce your exposure. Sounds easy, Feels impossible. ~ cj 2014.06.20 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the … Continue reading

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Uprooted

What isn’t planted deeply enough, tended to with plenty of loving care, and carefully sheltered from possible harm, is ripe for uprooting or being blown away in the winds of a storm. How much can be weathered may not be … Continue reading

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Such a quandary; when to stay put and sit in peace to wait, and when to leave, because too much reasonable time has passed. It is my single greatest challenge, especially when it’s something my heart cares deeply about. Is … Continue reading

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Protected: I Hate These Moments

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Being Present

Although it seems there’s much to attend to, while being present for the one who is leaving, there’s not a thing to attend to that matters as much as being present to the one who is leaving. ~ cj 2014.03.26 … Continue reading

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Good Boy

frightened boy kneeling in obedience until your freckled knees bled while they committed their sins to your tender bare flesh biting your lips and hating your tears and heading right straight to hell every single time for doubting God’s plan … Continue reading

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Bleeding Freedom

I picked at myself, mercilessly digging ragged nails deep into my flesh, an endless cycle of scratches and scabs and scars. I needed something, anything, to dig into me deeper than you did. I made everything bleed, little places, small … Continue reading

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My Proposal

No one else is going to let us carry on, like this, together, so let’s just carry on together, like this, without them. ~ cj 2013.11.13 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with … Continue reading

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Leaving The Vets’ Alone

He bent down with a few scraps of toweling to wipe up an accidental puddle, bringing him eye level with one of my tail-wagging doggies. He patted her and smiled just a little, then murmured something to her that I … Continue reading

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Golden Beauty In The Rain

These yellow flowers have shown up in my garden, growing wildly without my permission, without being planted there. They are far more beautiful than what I’d put in that spot. I’ve certainly learned that I miss beautiful moments in life … Continue reading

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I Matter

It only took me a minute or two on the 17th to write Existing. I suppose it was ready to be said without much hesitation. But after I was done, I waffled back and forth for quite awhile before and … Continue reading

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Existing

You treated me as if who I truly was didn’t exist so completely that who I truly was stopped existing when I was with you. When I left, you still treated me as if I didn’t exist so completely that … Continue reading

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Arrivals

Cold-platform standing, silent tears, stinging from the brisk walk-by of him, him, like the others; misuse-me men that I’ve given my heart to for a lifetime of years, without their understanding or mine. I let them go by as they’ve … Continue reading

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Breathe Again

Listening to Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles took me right back to when I first walked away from him. I wasn’t so sure I’d ever breathe again without that deep seering pain, but I needed to leave so badly, it … Continue reading

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Hard Squeeze

If you hold something loosely, it may not stay where you hope it will; you are so right about that. But the more you squeeze it, in an attempt to keep it where you want it, the more likely it … Continue reading

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Fast Eddie at the Flower Shop

Poor Fast Eddie. She was unique and beautiful, and he fell in love immediately. You couldn’t miss that he had…he made no bones about it. “Wanna have a ball?” He wagged enthusiastically, and showed her his bright green ball. But … Continue reading

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Stone, Stone Cold

Today is the first day I’ve written on stone paper. I find it cool to the touch and beautifully soft as I caress its pages with my fingers and press my pen into filling its lines. It is also the … Continue reading

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Matter Of Time

“Oh, my, you two are so perfectly suited”, was her frankly astute observation, as if she’d discovered some treasure, as if she were the first who found it inevitably, painfully obvious. and then, as if she couldn’t help but continue, … Continue reading

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I Imagined We’d Dance

I’ve closed my eyes so many times since I found you again imagining if we walked softly and waited til the timing was right, we’d one day sink sweetly, breathing into the rhythm of dancing together again. I’d trust you … Continue reading

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Let’s Not

Let’s not and pretend that we did, because my heart still bleeds from the last time, when I gave my all and you only pretended you did. ~ cj 2013.03.05 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share … Continue reading

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For The Rest of My Life

I will miss who I thought you were for the rest of my life. ~ cj 2013.03.03 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on … Continue reading

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May They Love In Such A Way

I love how he holds her face, one of her little curls trapped under his fingers that no one cares are filthy. He’s reached out, determined to show her how he feels. He looks so sure of himself, going after … Continue reading

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Sweet Sunday Snoozes

Sweet Sunday snoozes breathing each others air wrapped in a cocoon of blankets and plumped up pillows, wrapped in each others arms. I inhaled deeply and turned every way I could while you tried to dream, making sure each part … Continue reading

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Where You Are

You sent me a picture from where you are now. I know it so well it brings tears to my eyes. It’s that treasured place where we both used to be when we believed we always would and where we … Continue reading

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Next To Me

Next to Me – Piano Solo by Me I love one little part of this. It comes up over and over. Can you hear it? It’s the pause where you look up from your book and smile, because finally, beautifully, … Continue reading

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You Built

you built these walls because you want, but not badly enough to want to climb your own walls. ~ cj 2012.10.31 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about it Subscribe … Continue reading

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Plenty Of Room

I went to the place I go when my heart seeks peace, to see if you’d fit in my new life, which includes this. When I got there I found plenty of beauty and discovered more than enough room. ~ … Continue reading

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Me

It’s so sweetly intimate that it makes my heart tingle and feels like you’ve whispered something softly in my ear that only we know whenever you sign your email or a colorful card with Me Bookmark on Delicious Digg this … Continue reading

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Listening…

… I can see you’re typing but then the … disappear. I assign meaning to your hesitation …it must be quite important …and I wait to hear. I imagine you’re typing, stopping, thinking …then typing again. I love what you … Continue reading

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The Difference of A Day

Yesterday, I would have quickly sworn I loved nearly everything about us, with the exception of how you don’t feel the same for me. Today, I’m swearing, as I slowly realize nothing else about us matters, with the exception of … Continue reading

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So I Did

I dared to dream that if I risked it, if I went for it, if I jumped, if I reached, if I grew, if I leaned, if I stood strong in the wind… I’d be found, I’d be wanted, I’d … Continue reading

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Skin

Her skin,  so much softer  and thinner  than she would have  preferred to discover  protecting her heart,  tore just a little,  bled just a little,  when the sharp edged blade  of his impatience  cut into her. Its salty stinging sliced … Continue reading

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Fire’s Edge

If I fall into you will you catch me and dance, holding me tight, twirling, laughing at the edge of the fire? or will you step aside unable, unwilling to hold on, watching me, letting me tumble as I burn … Continue reading

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Your Gift

you make me smile and giggle and chuckle and laugh and oftentimes nearly squeal with delight and sometimes you’ve made me snort and totally outright  guffaw and for me for the girl I am there’s no greater gift at any … Continue reading

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Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a sad one year anniversary for me. I made a choice because I couldn’t take the pain anymore. One year ago tomorrow was the day my husband and I stopped living together after more than 23 years. I’ve … Continue reading

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I Am The Boss

******** I Trusted You ******** I trusted you. I opened my eyes my heart my mouth my arms my body my legs I trusted you when you promised you wouldn’t that you truly wouldn’t. I believed between us that no … Continue reading

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My Dad’s Hands

I loved my Dads hands. One of his fingers was crooked and one nail was bent. He wore his wedding ring still, even 30 years after my mom had died. His hands played piano and played guitar and laid out … Continue reading

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Carrying The Weight of The Truth

I found the post below the line on Facebook today. I have no hope you’ll see this, and maybe that’s for the best. I do not want anything from you, and perhaps avoiding the truth makes carrying on easier… although … Continue reading

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Promise Me

Promise me if I wash my hands my hair my body that shirt those sheets this blanket promise me I’m not washing away the last of you from my life. ~ cj 2012.04.04 Flickr picture from rachelandrew http://www.flickr.com/photos/rachelandrew/409048810/lightbox/ Bookmark on … Continue reading

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Velvet Kiss

velvet softness going down silken touching holding on fingers twining  pulling close weakened knees and racing pulse gentle hands exploring nuzzles tightly tangled all night nestled sweetly sighing deeply breathing melting moist need rekindling  all I ache and all I … Continue reading

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Mangy Yet Worthy

Maybe our fur is a little mangy and our nose is a little worn out from doors slamming in it, but we still have beautiful eyes to see the world with, and our hearts are still beating strong… And the … Continue reading

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The Cold Side

I pile things on the cold side of my bed, and rarely clean it off because it’s lonely when it’s empty. If you were here, you’d warm that side. As luck would have it, it’s the one you like to … Continue reading

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Forever Promise

I know it’s late to tell you  and can bear no hopeful fruit here in this dark but I cannot leave you behind again without you knowing  from my heart, the only promise that ever mattered to me was  your … Continue reading

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Not Quite Ready

Can you hear my heart beat from there? Tonight, with quiet surrounding me for the first time in a week, I can. It’s hanging out here, still on my sleeve, tender and a little bit sore. I’m surprised to find … Continue reading

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That Difference Mattered

My heart burned because we were so different in all the ways that mattered to me… while you burned all our possibilities focusing on differences that didn’t matter to me at all. That difference mattered. ~ cj 2011.10.14 Bookmark on … Continue reading

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WooHoo

Hey look! The sun is up The day is new Fifteen minutes passed And no thought of you. The End. ~ cj 2011.10.06 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet about … Continue reading

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No More

Since we met I’ve never said no to you, even when no would have freed me. I’ve looked away trapped in silence, no answer, shrugged. I bit my lip which you saw, and my tongue, so you couldn’t. I’ve said … Continue reading

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Shivering

I left you alone, your last goodnight ringing in my ears, tears blurring my sight. I dimmed the lights quietly on my way out, and the truth is, I shivered from your cold. I wasn’t sure my heart was strong … Continue reading

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All My Life

All my life love equaled owning. It did not exist, love could not last, unless it stayed beside me tucked in with my life. Please know, I did not have to hold tight. Still, I could not imagine how to … Continue reading

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Remaining Fool

You are the only remaining fool for you. You are the only fool remaining for you. ~ cj 2011.09.23 Either way, a fool remains. Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Tweet … Continue reading

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In Your Heart

I will not lie. Sometimes I wish I were living in your new house with you. It would be beautiful, but not because it is a new house. It would be beautiful because you are living there. Sometimes I wish … Continue reading

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Limbo

Limbo. That moment when my heart is so twisted up and unbalanced that all it would take is a whisper from you for me to fall back into your arms. ~ cj 2011.09.22 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend … Continue reading

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A Love I Can Hold Onto

You do not love me back  in any kind of way  I can hold on to.  I must let go  so I do not fall over an edge where I cannot be found or there is little left to recover. … Continue reading

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For You, Sweet Friend

Thank you for being part of my journey, sweet friend. I hope you find whatever you seek today, as I dream for you always. I wish you a memorable journey of beautiful moments strung together with smiles and love-filled hugs. … Continue reading

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Knock, Knock

Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s me; You know who I am. How are you? Are you alone and may I come in? It’s chilly outside and your heart is so warm. Our lives are scattered with beautiful moments when the … Continue reading

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Here We Go Heart

Here we go, heart. Are you packed up and ready to go? I’ve got Go Gordy And my map. What have you done to prepare? I’ve brought my journals and… Ah, I see you brought your passion. That’s good. Oh, … Continue reading

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Heart Strings

Sweet man what is the thread that ties us from here back to there and to each other? It’s been so many days and so many loves since we held one another. You’d think any tie we had any sense … Continue reading

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The Details Do Not Matter

Do you know me? You no longer know my details. But in this moment they do not matter. I do want to tell you this much. This much I need you to know. I still play piano. Every single key … Continue reading

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Hollywood & Sunshine

Those were the days of Hollywood and Sunshine both of us shining stars glowing brightly in a different space. I stumbled by skinny in my brown polyester dress waiting tables hungry for food waiting on you starving for love. You … Continue reading

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Begging The Universe

I woke this morning, begging the universe to erase this truth from my now open eyes, so the stone heavy ache in my heart would be lifted as I struggle to breathe. I was denied that relief, and shown two … Continue reading

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Digging Out Of A Ditch

When I was a teenager, I was in a band. One day, another band came in on their day off, and heard us play. The band members said “Hey, if you ever wanna move to Florida, you could join our … Continue reading

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No Dark Storms

If you will but visit when you are wind-battered you will find me here ready to hold you when you are too weary to hold your own. I will not clip your wings for my own gain. Instead, my belief … Continue reading

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My Need

My desire to be heard does not exceed my need to be treated with compassion in the face of my vulnerability. My willingness to accept your help does not exceed my need to be treated with grace in the face … Continue reading

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I Love You Doesn’t Mean Anything

I Love You doesn’t mean anything…When you say it all the time…. I had a brilliant conversation this past week with a life coach and friend of mine, Lisa. I’ve been thinking for days about the many things we discussed.  … Continue reading

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First Day

Dear Mom And Dad, I know getting ready for a new school year is hard. I did it for 12 years with my beautiful boy. Getting that supply list and standing in line at Wal-Mart, Target with all those colored … Continue reading

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Tears

Months later, long after I felt sure I’d freed every imprisoned tear I could possibly shed, you were kind to me for a moment. What a shock to learn they’d not actually gone anywhere. Instead, they’d relentlessly replenished themselves and … Continue reading

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Full Force

I flung myself full force with complete abandon wrecklessly speeding racing barreling falling heart-all-in love with you. no barriers no boundaries little caution. but wait… the news in from the heart line reports a head-on collision recently occurred as an … Continue reading

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Drawn

you begin by believing you want to be near you are drawn like a moth to a flame. you are fascinated, attracted. you can’t possibly get there fast enough. stumbling over yourself, you fall like a meteor lightning speed record. … Continue reading

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Left Behind

green shirt white shorts mellow music your book and a walking plan peppered kisses soft words blissful sweet satisfaction echoes of your voice a little burn on my face our beautiful dance the message you left behind by leaving all … Continue reading

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A Place Of Knowing

Something about you compels me. I want to share my secrets with you. I want to strip off my clothes in bright unforgiving light, exposing scars and my flaws so you can intimately and easily know. I want to fully … Continue reading

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Believable Love

I don’t want friends who tell me Yes because they believe that shows love. I want friends who tell me The Truth because that’s when I believe they love. ~ cj 2011.08.09 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on … Continue reading

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Every One

In this moment Every one in my life loves me, with the possible exception of the only one I believed in this moment I most wanted it to be. ~ 2011.08.09 Bookmark on Delicious Digg this post Recommend on Facebook … Continue reading

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Unmistakeable

I can hear your heart in your breath in the air its loud insistence its gentle aching its almost insatiable longing are unmistakeable as anything other than love. I can hear your heart in your voice when it’s soft when … Continue reading

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Breeze

The guitar is still out, the jelly is here. The shirt is all folded and smells sweet of you. your hug tightly held with your gaze, in my heart i wonder if you’re hurt, surprised, too. it was only a … Continue reading

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Sleep On It

Now I lay me down to sleep I know this road to love is steep If I should run for frightened sake Please hold on, there’s much at stake Before you say you’re done with this Close soft your eyes … Continue reading

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Still Here

where your hand held my wrist and your lips kissed my cheek where my legs pulled you close to my soul You are here with me now my heart’s eye holds you near warm long past when you’ve let me … Continue reading

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Impossibly Far

Impossibly far from here we’re eating breakfast together eggs, mine covered in cheese, yours? I’m having steak, and you, local sausage. In common, too, we have cold and even a bit of snow My honey is pollenated by flowers far … Continue reading

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Feather

like a feather gently swirling over a cliff free floating white and graceful twirling from where it was to where it’s pulled by gravity by nature by aching and joy inevitable and peaceful dangling and lifting swelling and swirling spinning … Continue reading

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