The Details Do Not Matter

Do you know me?

You no longer know
my details.
But in this moment
they do not matter.

I do want to tell you
this much.
This much
I need you to know.

I still play piano.
Every
single
key
pounding out my pain.

And I sing again now,
all of my lungs trying
to exhale the heartbreak
that has been in my life.

And I still write
words tumbling out of me.
I cannot seem to stop them
sensible or otherwise
any better now
than I could back then.

And always, still,
I cannot hide it.
I hurt like hell
my world
tumbles inward
when I write
when I sing
when I play
but I must.

so often
there is music
burning in me
that screams
my heart’s truth
out loud
and I am helpless
to stop it from
telling you again
who I am.

Do you know?

I haven’t been truly home
since I ran from you,
except
when I play,
when I sing
when I write.
Then, you are near
and I can be close
without worry
that you would leave
if you knew me.

And do you know?
I know you too.

You remain strong,
yet as gentle and kind
as you were back then.
You empty me of my
always ache
because you
open your arms
without fear
and your heart
without hesitation.
You do not once
then or now,
push away from me
or my need.

When I am with you
I will lean into you
and breathe all the way
into my belly,
and I will be filled for once
to the top of my heart
I will dance
and sing close to you
and I will write for
all my years
about how much
I’ve missed you
and always will.

Do you know me?

I know you.

And the details?
They do not matter.

~ cj 2011.09.11

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4 Responses to The Details Do Not Matter

  1. Paul Carroll says:

    Or maybe the do matter, but not in ways we usually think.

    Good stuff, Ceedge.

    • cjromb says:

      I’ve been called that before. It always gets spelled Siege. Haha. 🙂

      Thanx for reading, and for your comment. You’re exactly right, too. There are details that matter; they’re just different ones.

  2. cindy mccaa says:

    whoever said “its all in the details” was so wrong – they do not matter, they do not cause, they are adjectives only, at this point, where you are. You cause my brain to ponder so often and I thank you!

    • cjromb says:

      Thank you back, Cindy. I don’t know how it is for other people who write, but when I know someone’s reading, and someone gets it, it makes me show up and write. When I write I get things out of my head where I can see them, and it helps me figure them out. I’m happy to share what I figure out, too, in case it helps anyone else. It’s a perfect situation for me, too. 🙂

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