You do not love me back
in any kind of way
I can hold on to.
I must let go
so I do not fall
over an edge
where I cannot be found
or there is little left
to recover.
I must let go, too,
so I have my hands
and my heart
free to hold onto
myself.
For I know
how this is done.
If I love myself well,
I will not fall and be lost,
nor will I need to recover.
And I will have my hands
and my wide-open heart
free for another who loves back
in some kind of way,
in every kind of way
I can hold onto.
~ cj 2011.09.18
I find the greatest conundrum of life is simple. How do we fall in love with someone that does not love us back in the first place. Is it possible to stop that from happening?
Ah, what a long conversation we could have here. But I have to go for now. Shall we pick this back up, or is this a rhetorical question?
I do believe that if we’re very clear about what we’re looking for, and exceptionally clear about what we need, and who we are, and we are aware of what we’re looking at, we’ll see the bad match nearly immediately. In my case, it was obvious nearly from day one, certainly within a few weeks. A strong, unhealed need in me overwrote my intuition from the start, and I moved forward in spite of knowing better, and in spite of being well aware of how it would end.
Now that I’ve worked on that need in me, and seen this situation for what it really is, I was able to let go.
Sure it hurts, but what hurts is my disappointment in myself for believing something existed that didn’t really. And as I’ve been saying in my recent writings and on FB, I will live my life heart wide-open, even if it means I get hurt sometimes. I always learn, and I always grow, even when I can’t stay in it for long.
As I said…a long conversation could ensue on this…perhaps on FB? I always love our conversations there.
Thanx for reading and commenting. It means a lot btw.
Hey CJ,
I like the poem, love the commentary back to James….Keep up the good work and stay focused inside. Each stop along the way is a chance to re-examine that focus where we learn to face the fact that like gravity, the law of attraction will keep pulling us until we reach the place we were meant to be the whole time. We only feel the hurt when we resist by thinking we know better and we can make it stop pulling by grabbing small branches along the way.
Keeping both hands on your heart will prevent you from reaching out to break the fall into the unknown where we need to be in order to get to where it wants us to go. Hang on tight and enjoy the ride! Eyes wide open.
I love this. Thank you.
I feel like this could have been written by my ex-husband and that makes me grieve a little for him. But that’s part of the process, I believe.