Forever Promise

I know it’s late to tell you 
and can bear no hopeful fruit
here in this dark

but I cannot leave you behind
again without you knowing 
from my heart,

the only promise that ever
mattered to me was 
your promise of forever love. 

You softly whispered it 
and laughed it off
so easily and forever ago,
that I didn’t know
your lightness was 
a boy protecting his soul.

I didn’t know how much
you meant it,
how strongly you
felt the weight of it. 

It is late,
but you must know,
It melted my heart to its knees
when you made
that forever promise, 
but I pushed myself up
and away. 

I forced myself
to take that promise lightly, 
a girl protecting her soul
by blowing the seeds of 
it to the wind 
and leaving you behind. 

I thought that love long dead,
that promise forgotten
in the winds of change 
on the long road of life.

But now I’ve come up
on it again 
to find it 

It’s grown into a tree, 
strong and thick. 

But now it melts my heart
to its knees again
as I look more closely 
to see it
only to find it 
hopelessly gnarled 
from a lifetime 
lack of sunshine
on its limbs
and the weight of carrying  
the promise of forever love
so heavy, all alone. 

I am forever sorry 
from my broken soul
that you didnt know
til now…

the only promise that ever
mattered to me
was your promise of forever love. 

~ cj 2012.02.29

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